hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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