Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
