Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
