i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
