those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
