Is it normal to miss your booty call?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
bring money and cleavage
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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