I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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