I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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