STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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