My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
