Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
