She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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