Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
