WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
