I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
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All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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