some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
This is the prime rib incident all over again
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The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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