A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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