i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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