I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have already put on my inside pants.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
