Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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