I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
