I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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