I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
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Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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