Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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