i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
even my farts smell like vagina
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize