take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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