So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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