I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Randomize
