I just saw a hot homeless man
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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