I think I died a long time ago.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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