Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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