how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
