Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
