I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
