My friends, they love my intelligence
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
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he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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