yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
