I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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