I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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