that's an acceptable place to lick
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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