He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
