I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So squirting runs in the family.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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