Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
