last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize