Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
