is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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