No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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