you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
