Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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