After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
