My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
