Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We got so high we made milksteak
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
