Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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