Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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