Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
