At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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