Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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