so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
